Galaga – Demons of Death!

Galaga Feature

There are some days when you just want to sit back in your favorite chair after a long day at work, turn on the ol’ tube, scoff at everything on TV because it’s terrible, and pop in a video game instead.  But, since your day was so taxing, you want to play something that doesn’t require a lot of thinking or dexterity, so what do you do?  You go old-school, that’s what!  And you pick a game that’s as mindless as the enemies you’re taking out: Galaga!  That’s right, soldier!  We’re going bug hunting!  And we’re going in with the first wave! Means more bugs fer us to kill!  And this is for all you new people: I only have one rule. Everyone fights. No one quits. You don’t do your job, I’ll shoot you myself. You get me? Continue reading

Mega Man II – An Icon Enters the Fray

Feature Pic

Last week was E3, and this happened:

I’m sure a bunch of other stuff happened, but after watching this I no longer cared.  Mega Man trashing the mascots of Nintendo is just so euphoric.  It’s enough to give you a raging nerd boner, while the vague “2014” release date is enough to give you droopy nerd blue balls. Continue reading

Punch Out!! Project Poster!!

Feature Pic

So I made this completely unnecessary yet angelic and elegant piece of greatness to hang in my office at work, and I wanted to share it because I knew you guys would find it proportionately transcendent and manly.  I present to you, in all its majesty and glory, my Punch Out!! Project Poster!! Continue reading

Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon – The Universe’s Finest Achievement

Feature Pic

I have to tell you, of my own volition which definitely has nothing to do with any green plumber-related reasons, that I have found THE game.  The world’s greatest game to have been created or will ever be created.  Continue reading

Fire Emblem: Awakening – Pick a God and Pray! (Part II)

Feature Pic 2

Last time, I posted about how lame and unmanly I was during my first playthrough of Fire Emblem: Awakening.  Long story short: I was playing it wrong by not building relationships and by playing with Permadeath off.  Playing the game like I was a 5-year-old girl has besmirched my studly reputation, and the jeering from my peers and the mocking hoots from the neighborhood children still echo as I try to sleep. My wife calling me “Fatty, Fatty Girl Panties” while I slept wasn’t helping either.

Continue reading

Fire Emblem: Awakening – I’m Playing It Wrong! (Part I)

Feature PicI’m a man with an eclectic taste when it concerns video games, but there are certain genres that I enjoy over others, and one of my favorite genres is the Strategy Role Playing Game, or SRPG.  Needless to say, my love for the SRPG has made me an expert in the SRPG field, and I had always viewed myself an authority on the subject. So you can only imagine the hit to my pride as I first experienced the Fire Emblem series.

Continue reading

King’s Knight – All of You Are Dead! The End!

It’s October, and fall’s underway!  This is my favorite time of the year, and October is when I officially call it a day and start hibernating until around March or April.  The weather takes a turn for the worse, and it only gets worse as we get into winter.  Staying indoors all weekend is now something I can do without feeling guilty, and, since I’m stuck lounging around the house, why not play a few video games?  Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to do!  But I wanted to do something a little different to celebrate the turning of the seasons.  Considering it’s October, it’s obvious as to what theme I should focus on.  October’s been home to a very unique and highly observed holiday for ages, and said holiday has inspired a lot of excellent works of art: The Nightmare Before Christmas, everything from the Misfits, the Halloween Series.  All these things were greatly inspired by the traditional October holiday known as National Pizza Month!  You think all those people creating that stuff could actually create without pizza as their muse?

Continue reading

Nintendo Power: You Will Be Missed

 

Today, I received the above letter in the mail along with my newest issue of Nintendo Power.  It’s one of the saddest pieces of literature to have ever been written.

Continue reading

Top Ten Essential DS Games

Finally, I get to talk about the best of the best!  I’ve eagerly been waiting to sit down and ruminate about all the great games on the DS!  However, a slight feeling of dread has also been churning in the pit of my ulcer-filled gut.  How in the hell I am going to do the DS library justice?  It’s a daunting task for one who’s so intimately attached to the system and all its exemplary games.

Continue reading

Top Ten DS Hidden Gems

If you haven’t noticed, I love video games.  I love them if they’re good, bad, stupid, artsy, exploitative, gory, perverse, disgusting, half-assed, glitchy, popular, unpopular, or just damn pointless.  If the game’s fun, I’ll play it.  But you know what games I really love?  (Pause, allowing time to guess/build tension).  Games that don’t look or sound like much but end up being awesome.  There’s just a certain kind of satisfaction I get when I accidentally find the next obscure hit.  These are the games you pick up for whatever reason without really knowing anything about them:  They looked good, they looked stupid, you have some money burning a hole in your pocket, you lost a bet, you blacked out again because they just don’t make enough booze to drown the sorrow, etc.

Continue reading