Lately, there has been some talk about women in gaming and how they’re being physically and unrealistically protrayed. Now, any kind of (intelligible) discourse about sexuality and gender roles in gaming is a great step in the right direction for the medium. But, GOD, is it boring! Sometimes it’s okay just to have some fun. And the fun we’ll be having today will involve ogling fictitious women and ranking them by their hotness!
Of course it’s true that women are ridiculously oversexualized in gaming media. Thankfully, I’m completely okay with it! And I’m not the only one! There are tons of fans out there recreating our favorite gaming heroines in exciting and sexy new ways everyday. You can go to your preferred search engine right now and type in any female gaming character’s name and find plenty of fan service, which is exactly what I did to find the Top Ten Hottest Chicks in Gaming!
Annnnnnd, I’m never doing it again.
You see, the Internet sure does like its porn. While grabbing the pics for this list, I became very familiar with Rule 34 (look it up at your own risk). Needless to say, I’m scarred for life, and I’ll never be able to look at some of these ladies the same ever again… There were furries and bondage and over-sized feet everywhere!
In the end, I managed to find many impressive and presentable fan-created pics. These are the pics I’m focusing on today. Though, I still wouldn’t look at this list with your grandma in the room.
Here are the rules. To be on this list, the following ladies must:
Have Originated from a video game.
- Have a fair amount of fan art dedicated to them.
- Not be exposed. Again, I apologize if I’m your only means of seeing boobs on the internet.
- Be smoking hot!
For each of the following entries, I’ve taken the liberty of gathering my personal favorite fan pieces of each lady and assembling them into wallpaper form for your convenience (optimized for PS Vita screens). Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you!
Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure, I now present to you the Top Ten Hottest Chicks in Gaming, as depicted by fan art! Let the cat calls and hooting commence!
10.) DOA Girls (Dead or Alive)
How could I only pick one? Not that they all look so good (they do), but because they’re all pretty indistinguishable when put side by side. Any fleshing out of these characters boils down to them showing more skin. It also doesn’t help that each lady is created with the same formula: Big, bouncy boobs and that is all. It’s unfortunate that these ladies’ looks and jiggle physics give the DOA franchise a bad name (and the DOA Paradise games surely don’t do it any favors) because the main fighting games are actually very good.
The ladies I’ve chosen are (from left to right) Hitomi, Kasumi, and Kokoro. It’s nice to see them taking time out of their busy day of smashing heads to look a little more vulnerable. Just keep in mind that these ladies are more than capable of punching your face through your ass.
9.) Momohime (Muramasa: The Demon Blade)
Keep an open mind with this one.
Momohime is timid and passive, but the man possessing her body is crass and aggressive. It’s like The Odd Couple but inside of a hot chick! If you’re able to ignore the dude in her body and only focus on Momohime, then you’ll be able to appreciate watching this shy, feudal-era princess chopping demons and ninjas in half with evil swords. You’ll also be able to appreciate those hot spring scenes a little better, too. Though she’s not the curviest female lead (despite fan depictions), she’s intriguing and adorable, nonetheless. Her (his?) relationship with Kongiku (seen in the top left corner) is intriguing and adorable as well…
8.) Princess Peach (Super Mario Brothers)
I can’t say I like Princess Peach that much outside of Super Mario Bros. 2, but I can’t help but be a fan of her in her pink bikini. If the fans behind these pics are correct with their proportions, then I can see why Bowser keeps kidnapping her and why Mario keeps going out of his way to get her back. I can’t help but think that if Daisy were packing like Peach she might be getting kidnapped more. Then, maybe Luigi would be getting more games that didn’t involve vacuum cleaners.
7.) Samus Aran (Metroid)
I really don’t remember Samus looking like that at the end of Metroid! How fast do you have to beat the game to see her like this? Who would have thought that gaming’s first heroine would be sporting her best assets underneath the missile-shooting, bomb-dispensing Space Suit? Zero Suit Samus, indeed! That thing’s so skintight it looks like it was painted on! I don’t know who Justin Bailey is, but he was ahead of his time by wanting Samus’s armor off. At first I thought it was a bad idea, her being in space and all. But, looking at these pics, I can understand his line of thinking more clearly…
6.) Yuuko Asou (Valis)
Having Yuuko on the list is a little weird. After the main Valis franchise lost popularity, it was bought out by some sleazy company and turned into a series of Hentai games. It’s unfortunate, but I can see how easy it was: High school girl in school uniform fighting other high school girls in skimpy clothes as well as monsters with tentacles. I’m pretty sure there’s a law in Japan against the company not turning it into porn. Obviously, finding non-disgusting pictures of Yuuko was few and far between, but I think the pics I chose showcase her hotness while sparing her dignity.
5.) Morrigan Aesland (Dark Stalkers)
Morrigan is one of those ladies who’s hot and scary, and a lot of her fan depictions show this by having her covered in blood or standing on top of demons and such. Me, I’m not into that sort of thing, so I chose the “Sexy Librarian” and “Kimono” looks. I like these pics for a couple of reasons: 1.) Because Duh, and 2.) They show Morrigan in a different persona as if to attract men with certain fetishes or preferences. That seems reasonable for a succubus to do. You see, of all the ladies on this list, Morrigan is the most dangerous. Being a succubus, her sole purpose is to seduce men so she can bang them to death. But I suppose there are worse ways to die, amirite, guys? Eh? EH!
4.) Lady Palutena (Kid Icarus)
Lady Palutena wasn’t even on my radar when I began this list. I was actually just messing around when I thought of her; I didn’t actually expect to find anything. But, lo and behold, there she was in all her bikini-clad, towel-wearing glory. And, I have to say, no wonder Pit does everything she says! It never occurred to me that Pit was doing all this in the hopes of getting laid! You’ve earned my respect, Kid Icarus. Goddess speed, good sir!
3.) Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII)
Of course Tifa’s on this list. She’s had my attention since I was in 7th grade. From her attitude to her well-endowed assets to her ability to suplex Iron Giants, there’s really nothing you can’t find to like about her. I put Tifa with some pics of Aeris because she’s cute, brings high energy, and finding fan pics of Tifa not being slutty was taking up way too much of my time. Interpret that however you’d like.
2.) Shantae (Shantae)
Shantae is another fun and interesting female protagonist that I frankly could not find much fan art both of high quality and untainted by perversion. So I decided to just make some of my own by cutting and pasting her with some of my favorite video game characters! The above pic is meant to be a collage of her and a bunch of gaming’s icons enjoying a day at the beach. The scenarios were a lot of fun to make, particularly the times when Shantae’s hotness is a point of contention. Admittedly, it was my wife’s idea to put DK and Shantae on the surfboard, clearly the highlight of the trip.
1.) Izuna (Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja)
Easily the most underrated hottie in gaming, this legendary, pink-haired unemployed ninja is 50% Hot, 50% Goofy, and 100% Badass! All the above pics are actually official art released by Success, her games’ developers. They’re lighthearted, silly, high energy, and it looks like she’s having fun. I wish the same could be said about her fan art. Not all of it is NSFW, but most are. Her looks and constant in-game boob references aside, Izuna is a fun, flirty, and wacky alternative to standard Female Protagonist formulas. Honestly, she’s more akin to Bugs Bunny with her 4th wall-breaking antics and overall ridiculousness. If you haven’t played her games yet, you should. They’re actually pretty difficult, rewarding, and hilarious. Izuna more than deserves the top spot for Hottest Chick in Gaming! Even if I can’t – in good taste – show you her fan art.
Thanks for Your Playing! I hope you enjoyed the list and the collages I made. Let me know about any ladies I may have missed in the comments below!