Fire Emblem: Awakening – Pick a God and Pray! (Part II)

Feature Pic 2

Last time, I posted about how lame and unmanly I was during my first playthrough of Fire Emblem: Awakening.  Long story short: I was playing it wrong by not building relationships and by playing with Permadeath off.  Playing the game like I was a 5-year-old girl has besmirched my studly reputation, and the jeering from my peers and the mocking hoots from the neighborhood children still echo as I try to sleep. My wife calling me “Fatty, Fatty Girl Panties” while I slept wasn’t helping either.


And then I told him his mom died from disappointment!

I’m sick of it!  I can’t go another day with anyone thinking I’m any less manly than Batman and Solid Snake combined!  I’m replaying Awakening right this time, and I’ll show everyone just how hardcore I really am!

Box ArtGame: Fire Emblem: Awakening

Console: 3DS

Developer: Intelligent Systems

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Year: 2013

And I did it!  I went through the entire game with Permadeath on, and I hardly even got any ulcers.  To think that I dreaded playing on Classic mode because I thought it would be too stressful to be fun.  I honestly thought the game was going to hand my ass to me; but, on the contrary, it was I who was the one who redistributing the asses back to their rightful owners.

To put it plainly: I killed Awakening. I killed it so hard it was embarrassing.  That’s not to say that I didn’t lose any units or the game wasn’t challenging (at first), but I ended up beating it so harshly that I wasn’t even proud of myself afterwards.  It’s kind of like tipping over a guy in a wheelchair: you spent all that time to build up the courage to do it only to find that it wasn’t as fulfilling as you had imagined.

WheelchairI feel I should be laughing way harder than this.

I played through the first half of the game normally: I had Fredrick and Kellam run out to the middle of the battlefield as bait, the enemies would “attack” them (read: miss or not hurt them at all) and get weakened by Fred and Kell’s counters, and then I’d have everyone else charge in and swarm them like a bunch of ants.   It was damn effective and never didn’t work.  This got my characters to level up pretty evenly.  The only things I had to be careful about were archers picking off my Pegasus knights and Olivia being anywhere near the battlefield.  Seriously, even if she somehow evaded an attack the wind from the swipe would give her pneumonia.  But – damn it! – she’s hooking up with Virion if it’s the last thing I do!

VirionDude’s so suave, even dudes can’t help but hit on him.

Anyway, so I used the ol’ “Bait ‘n Swarm” technique for the first half of the game until I realized that Chrom is a total freaking badass!  I don’t know why this revelation took so long.  I mean, his pre-battle stance more than gives it away.  He always starts each attack with his sword in the ground, and when he places his hand on the hilt his cape inexplicably blows in the wind, probably because the fabric just can’t sustain its original position with so much power and awesome happening.  I love how he throws the sword back into the ground when he kills someone like that’s where he always puts it.


Nice ax holster, cupcake.  I use the entire Earth as my sheath!

Chrom’s badassness far exceeds his pre- and post- battle stances.  He’s so incredibly hardcore that I only used him and my Avatar – who was also his wife – for the second half of the game.  Together, they were more than enough to decimate the armies of two nations, slay a god, and ultimately alter fate.  It was downright humiliating.

How is it that I can complete the second half of an SRPG with one character in less than thirty minutes?  It made the game seem kind of pointless to me.  Why even have all these other characters?  Why worry about building relationships?  Why even think about incorporating strategy at all?  Granted, I was playing the game on Normal Mode, and I’m sure Hard and Lunatic won’t have this problem, but still!  This is on Normal!  You should not be able to beat a game’s default difficulty – therefore, intended difficulty – by beefing up one character.



I think this “one-man army beats the entire game” problem could be remedied if Awakening had more variety in its missions.  “Rout the Enemy” and “Defeat the Commander” are your only objectives, and even the Incredible Hulk could think those through.  I’m not saying Intelligent Systems should have added Escort Missions or Water Levels (God, no!), but adding some missions that required many units in order to be successful would have helped, such as “Don’t Let Enemy Reach the Town” or “Your Girlfriend and the District Attorney are in Two Different Locations and Must Be Rescued Simultaneously.”  Things like that.


I just wanted to use this pic.  Cervantes is so great!

Bitching aside, there’s a whole lot to love about this game.  Awakening is genuinely intense and challenging in the beginning, and building relationships is addicting and rewarding.  There have been some epic, fist-pumping moments brought on by characters knocking other characters out of Death’s grasp and then finishing off the assailant with a critical hit.  The story is decent enough to keep me interested, and the music, though lauded by many, I found to be generic yet suitable.   There’s a time travel element in the game that’s never explained, but it really didn’t matter to me; I found it both cheesy and endearing.  The characters are likable and full of personality, which makes it that much worse when one of them falls in battle.  There’s also multiplayer and DLC, but I never do that crap.

In the end, I loved me some Fire Emblem: Awakening.  It was an amazingly fun SRPG that had be screaming, cussing, gasping, sighing in relief, and fist pumping as my units protected and helped each other.  When things got intense, I was on the edge of my seat, and it was all very invigorating.  Though the difficulty in the latter half was jokingly disappointing, I had fun getting there.  Plus, there’s always Hard and Lunatic to tackle.

Thanks for your Playing!  I’d like to end this post by commemorating the brave men and women that gave there lives for Ylisse in the name of peace.




Retired from the field after one measly ax to the chest.  Though Maribelle was snooty and stuck up and condescending, she did have some nice things to say to Ricken sometimes.  Oh, and she liked to correct people’s grammar, and everyone likes that, right?  Yeah, I won’t miss her too much.




Died in some random battle when an archer got a lucky critical hit on him.  It was the first and last blow he took in the war for peace.  Gregor, I’ll miss your broken English.  Unfortunately, I don’t know anything else about you because you died so quickly, so I guess that’s it.  Amen.




Retired after a few arrows to the face.  It’s truly a shame.  She had that “sexy librarian” look, and her vocabulary was expansive, to put it mildly.  Her favorite pastimes included alphabetizing her books and researching.  Plus, she’s a redhead.  I feel I could have gone all the way to S Rank with her myself, if you know what I mean.




Despite calling himself “Teach,” Vaike is a huge dumbass who forgot to bring his ax TO A WAR and refers to himself in the third person.  He died because I made him accompany Kellam to the center of the battlefield.  Good riddance.


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